Kristina Kelly & Stassi take Beverly Hills

kristina kelly - beverly hills - podcast

On this episode of Straight Up with Stassi, she’s joined by the OG, the first guest that Stassi ever had on her podcast, and one of her best friends: Kristina Kelly.

“Yeah, you’ve upgraded.”

“You’re one of those rare friends that a full-on year could go by and we wouldn’t even know that it’s been a year,” Stassi says. “Like, remember when we did my first episode and we had to pause it and stop it like every three minutes because we didn’t know what we were doing?”

“We were so nervous,” Kristina remembers. “We had an outline, too. You were really well prepared.”

“So well prepared,” Stassi says. “And now I’ll come up with like, three ideas.”

“I knew this was going to be a good idea,” Kristina says. “Look at this!”

“I know, now we’re sitting in my shoe room,” Stassi says. “Remember when I was at rock bottom and I couldn’t find an apartment? And I lived in the Venice Beach shack?”

“We would sit on the floor and there was a blow-up air mattress,” Kristina recalls. “Yeah, it was a bit of an old apartment.”

“It was the worst,” Stassi says. “Did you know the walls were paper thin?”

“I loved it, you were close to me finally.”

“I can’t believe for the first week I was so obsessed with it,” Stassi says.

“I thought it was cute,” Kristina says.

“Did you? Did you think the shack, the bug-infested shack with paper thin walls next to a family of hoarders who have lived there for over 50 years, was cute? I could hear every word they said. They would whisper and I could be like, ‘Yep, I’ll help you with that, if you want.’ I could talk to them,” Stassi says. “That was the worst experience of my life.”

“Yeah, you’ve upgraded,” Kristina says. “We are sitting in your shoe closet room.”

“I think about that summer a lot,” Stassi says. “And how I legit lived out of a dirty suitcase on the floor, slept on an air mattress with Patrick that always deflated. No air conditioning. When I would get groceries delivered, people would be like, ‘You live here? It’s hotter in your apartment than it is outside.’ We didn’t have parking. I got towed, I got tickets. What was I thinking?”

When you like shoes more than you like people.

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“No one’s going to do a double-take”

“I had an appointment today,” Stassi explains.

“What was that appointment for, Stassi?” Kristina asks.

“Botox and lip injections,” Stassi says. “Well, I wasn’t sure if I was going to do lip injections. I’ve gotten them before. I like to get botox like once a year when I’m not filming. I pride myself on this, because I like to have expression when I film.”

“Because of that one scene when she was crying with botox,” Kristina jokes.

“When I cry and I have botox my eyes bulge out of my head,” Stassi jokes. “It’s like my brain knows that I can’t make an expression, so it’s like, overcompensating with my eyes.”

“She’s like, ‘Never again!'” Kristina laughs.

“You know on ‘Daria’ when the professor’s eye would start bulging? That’s what I look like with botox,” Stassi says. “But I looked at a lot of my photos recently and I was like, ‘Mmm, time to get botox again.’ Because my makeup is like, going into the creases of my forehead…”

“Yeah, but don’t they say botox is preventative?” Kristina asks.

“That’s why I do it! And listen, I’m not sitting here being like, ‘Everyone needs to get botox.’ Not everybody needs it,” Stassi says. “I do. And I have the best doctor ever… Doctor Firouz. He did my boobs and he did such a good job when I got my breast reduction and my lift. But it’s always really funny walking around Beverly Hills because everyone has bandages on. Like, everyone. Everyone either has the botox marks, or pricks, or… what did it look like? Welts on my face? Everyone has something walking around Beverly Hills.”

“No one’s going to do a double-take like, ‘What’s wrong with her?’ Like, that’s normal, Stassi is icing her face as we walk over to the ATM.”

“It’s like a different world,” Stassi says. “It freaks my brain out. I think it would be really fun to sit at a cafe on one of those streets and podcast while people-watching. We could try and guess, ‘What do you think they just got done? What is that bandage for?'”

“Next podcast, we’re doing this,” Kristina says.


“Everyone wants the Carrie, I’m giving you the Carrie.”

“Listen, this is why I sold my soul to the reality TV devil: So that I could have a shoe room,” Stassi says. “Every time I do something where I’m like, ‘I wouldn’t normally get to do this’ it’s because I sold my soul.”

“To buy shoes,” Kristina jokes.

“Maybe I should be more of a saver, but I’m really good at finding bargains, I buy designer stuff used a lot of the time so it’s more than half-off.”

“You really are Carrie Bradshaw,” Kristina says. “Like, you really are her. You know that episode when she talks about using her oven for storage? You really are her.”

“I’m going to take that as a compliment, thank you very much,” Stassi says. “I love me some Carrie Bradshaw.”

“You know how in a group they’re like, ‘Well, who’s the Carrie?'” Kristina asks.

“Well I always think that I’m the Miranda,” Stassi says.

“What? No you’re not,” Kristina disagrees.

“Yeah, because she’s really cynical, and sarcastic, and has a stick up her ass and is bossy.”

“But Carrie is too,” Kristina says.

“Carrie is a little more optimistic,” Stassi says.

“Listen, you need to take the Carrie,” Kristina says. “Everyone wants the Carrie, I’m giving you the Carrie.”

“But I’m totally okay being a Miranda,” Stassi says.

“Well who am I?” Kristina asks.

“You’re Charlotte.”


Shop Kristina’s on Etsy Now!

The babe of lip balms 🌹

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