A little cunnilingus never hurt no one

kristina kelly and stassi schroeder

On this episode of Straight Up With Stassi, Stassi and her OG bestie Kristina Kelly talk all about sex positivity. Especially when it comes to cunnilingus.

Cunnilingus vs Sex

“Okay, so, Kristina and I were talking a little bit earlier, I don’t know how we got into this conversation, but I was like ‘This is a good thing to debate,'” Stassi says. “Cunnilingus vs. sex. When I was in Seattle with all of these girls for a wedding, a lot of them told me they wont let dudes go down on them. And I’m like, ‘Sorry, what did you say? WHY?’ I tried to get inside their brains. I’m a fan of cunnilingus.”

“I don’t know why, but I don’t like that word,” Kristina says. “I don’t want to hear you say ‘cunnilingus.'”

“I’m only calling it this because we’re doing a podcast and it amuses me, okay?” Stassi says. “Saying ‘going down on’ isn’t nearly as entertaining.”

“She doesn’t use that word in real life,” Kristina clarifies.

“No, I don’t use that word in real life,” Stassi confirms. “This is strictly for the podcast. But maybe I will start. What’s the opposite? Fellatio? That’s when you give head? I want to talk about this. Kristina loves cunniling—”

They both burst out laughing. Stassi then plays audio of the correct pronunciation of “cunnilingus” four times in a row.

“In case anybody needs to know,” Kristina says. “But yeah, I enjoy it. And Stassi, do you?”

“I enjoy it,” Stassi confirms. “It’s one of my favorite things to order.”

“You know what? This is a great topic,” Kristina says. “Girls need to hear this. I have a friend who has explained why she doesn’t like it. I don’t even understand it, I don’t get it. My theory is that they’re insecure with their woman part down there and that’s why they don’t like it. Otherwise the guy is doing it wrong.”

“That was my theory is that they just haven’t had anyone do a good job,” Stassi agrees.

“Our friend, she just doesn’t like it,” Kristina explains. “She always says, ‘I just don’t like it. I orgasm during sex,’ which I also think is a lie.”

“Wait, we can talk about this too,” Stassi says. “Me and Kristina both don’t orgasm through the G-spot.”

“I’m so happy my boyfriend doesn’t listen to this podcast,” Kristina laughs.

“We both only orgasm from the outside,” Stassi says. “I mean, I love having sex, obviously. I like to connect.”

“Yeah, feeling that with the person you’re with,” Kristina agrees.

“And then Kristina said, ‘I connect with them. When his head is in my vagina.’ Wasn’t really, like, the kind of connection I was talking about,” Stassi laughs.

“But then I said it and you were like, ‘Yeah, I guess you’re right,'” Kristina says.

“You know what I mean though,” Stassi says. “I like having sex because you feel that person’s body, and the weight, I don’t know, you can look at each other.”

“Of course,” Kristina says. “It’s not like I dread it.”

“I’m going to get so many people being like, ‘Oh my God that’s so sad that you don’t come from your G-spot.’ But I don’t feel like it’s that sad,” Stassi says.

“As long as you have an orgasm, I think it’s fine,” Kristina agrees. “Actually, there are a lot of girls who have never had orgasms.”

“Which I know about, and that makes me sad, and I want to start a charity for them,” Stassi says. “You think I’m kidding. I’m not. Some sort of organization, hotline, I don’t know. I want to provide them with the tools or skills or doctors to help them out. Because that’s not fair.”

“1-800…” Kristina begins.

“I’ll-Help-You-Come” Stassi finishes the sentence. “There’ll be billboards everywhere with my face on them and ‘1-800-I’ll-Help-You-Come.'”

“Alright, so what’s your advice to these girls who cannot have orgasms?” Kristina asks.

“Number one: Start masturbating. Number two: Use porn to help you masturbate because sometimes it’s hard to envision shit in your head. Number three: Try different types of toys in different spots so that you know what feels good,” Stassi suggests. “Try different types of lube. Take your time.”

“And what if girls are too insecure to go buy something?” Kristina asks.

“Order it on Amazon.com,” Stassi says. “But yeah, you have to try different things. You don’t know what you’re going to like. And sometimes you get too in your head, so I’d say, ‘Relax.'”

“Then, say you have no problem masturbating and doing it yourself,” Kristina continues. “That all goes away when you’re actually with a guy and you’re nervous. Or even if you’re with your boyfriend, a girl is always in her head. I think girls get in their head because they associate that area with being dirty. They get so in their head about it that they get so uncomfortable that anybody is down there that they can’t relax enough to actually enjoy it.”

“Okay, so for 1-800-I’ll-Help-You-Come, I need to come up with a game plan for those types,” Stassi takes note. “Also, meditation! I could start a meditation app that almost hypnotizes you into thinking your vagina is made of rose gold.”

“You vagina smells like roses…” Kristina says.

“And it looks like roses…” Stassi adds.

“You are a flower…” Kristina says.

“It’s the smoothest vagina you’ve ever touched…” Stassi adds.

Then, they whisper “cunnilingus” for a few seconds.

Finally, Kristina says, “It’s also the guy though. Unfortunately.”

To hear more about 1-800-I’ll-Help-You-Come, listen to the full podcast.

StassiFooter

No Comments Yet

Leave a Reply