Stassi & Kristina Take Australia

On this episode of Straight Up With Stassi, Stassi is joined by OG BFF Kristina Kelly, and they’re recapping their Australian adventures. (And they’ve been working on their accents.)

“But it’s cashmere!”

“Airport outfit of the days are my favorite ones to do,” Stassi says. “I put on a giant onesie, this one trip, because it’s a 15 hour flight. I’m like, ‘I’m not going to try to put on a cute outfit because it’s a 15 hour flight. What, am I gonna be uncomfortable, trying to sleep with my jeans digging into my back fat? Fuck that, I’m gonna be comfortable.’ But it was the wrong time to actually wear something comfortable.”

“I wore a cute outfit because you are so obsessed with your OOTDs that I was like, ‘Oh, God, I’ve got to make sure I’m on my game, I need to make sure I have a good outfit on,’” Kristina recalls. “When I got ready for the airport, that’s what I was thinking. So when I saw her outfit I was just like, ‘It looks so dumpy in between the legs, why is it so far down? It’s hitting your knees…’

“Cause it’s a drop crotch!” Stassi says.

“You kept saying, ‘But it’s cashmere!’” Kristina says. “It did look comfortable though.”

“It is!” Stassi says. “I couldn’t believe my fuckin’ eyes when she walked through my door. Ripped skinny jeans, a tight black tank top, a newsboy hat — so cute — over her new bob, and boots.”

“You guys, I have short hair!” Kristina says.

“Moment of silence for the short hair,” Stassi says.

“Moment of silence for my long hair,” Kristina corrects.

“RIP. But yeah, she comes in looking like Kendall Jenner, and I look like Momma June from Honey Boo Boo,” Stassi says.

The moment you realize you’re traveling with Cindy Crawford’s illegitimate child.

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“Okay, it wasn’t that bad,” Kristina laughs.

“It was,” Stassi disagrees. “It was bad. And I’m like, ‘Wait a second, you can sleep in jeans?’ I hadn’t even washed off my spray tan that day, so I’m red, I’m wearing a drop crotch onesie, I don’t have eye makeup on, I look like shit. But I’m like, ‘No, you know what Kristina, I’m going to be comfortable on the plane, and you’re not.’”

“She was pushing that hard the whole way,” Kristina says. “Like, ‘Your outfit is so much cuter than mine but I’M going to be more comfortable, just remember.’ Then it started getting in my head and I was like, ‘Maybe I’ll unbutton the top of these jeans? Did I pack anything in my carry on?’”

“The joke was one me,” Stassi laughs. “So listen, I was traveling to Australia for Hayu, which is a new streaming network that only streams reality shows in Australia. Everyone was so nice, I had the best time with them. So, they flew me there.”

“But Stassi is a queen, so they decided to give her the best of the best, which was First Class,” Kristina adds.

“But Kristina, you know that’s my thing now,” Stassi says. “You know how everyone has their splurges? I love flying so much that I don’t mind splurging on First Class tickets because I love the experience so much.”

“I 1,000% percent get it now,” Kristina says. “Whenever you’d talk about how much you love traveling, I would always kind of be like, ‘I don’t like airplanes.’

“And now, you love them,” Stassi says.

“I get it,” Kristina agrees.

“Why don’t you just explain what it was like for you,” Stassi prompts.

“I travel a lot, but I’ve never traveled First Class, this was my first time, so I was pretty pumped about it,” Kristina begins saying. “You know in the movies when they show a poodle sitting in the chair and someone’s feeding the poodle, and the golden lights like ‘Ahhhhhhh,’” she says, mimicking the sound of angels. “That’s like, real. I feel like that’s actually how it is. I’m not kidding. Everything and more. You have your own chair that goes all the way down. Immediately upon sitting down, I wasn’t even finished unpacking, they were like, ‘Champagne? Fresh orange juice?’ It was everything. I was like, ‘We could just leave now and I’ll be fine.’ This First Class could have been the trip.”

“That’s what I try to explain to people when they’re like, ‘You’re spending a lot of money on First Class tickets.’ I’m like, ‘You don’t get it, it’s my favorite thing in the world,’” Stassi explains.

“They had every meal imaginable, every drink, every movie, socks, slippers, eye masks,” Kristina continues. “And along with that, they’re wheeling by, asking everyone, ‘Pajamas? Pajamas? Would you like a pajama set?’ I could not have seen the devil in Stassi’s eyes more clearly. You were like, ‘You’ve got to be kidding me. I wore the dumpy crotch cashmere onesie??’

“For nothing!” Stassi yells. “For nothing! And you got to look like a supermodel AND change into pajamas. It wasn’t fair.”

“I changed so quickly into those pajamas,” Kristina says.

“I’ll never forget that,” Stassi says. “From here on out, I will always go to the airport in the cutest outfit ever.”

Yea, so, Australia is what’s up.

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“Australians get us and I get them.”

“We really stuck to each other,” Stassi says of their trip. “We didn’t mingle or anything like that. It was a total girls trip. It was the best.”

“It was the best,” Kristina agrees. “We got sick, but we rallied.”

“We rallied every single day,” Stassi agrees. “We didn’t go out, to a club or bars late at night. We went to dinners that lasted a long time.”

“We went to one dinner that was at a nicer bar and we stayed later, but nothing where we woke up the next morning and were like, ‘Oh…’” Kristina says.

“No, because we were sick, first of all, and we wanted to pack in so many things during the day. I’m actually super grateful we did that,” Stassi says. “I barely drank. What you witnessed on that trip, my drinking level, which was already more than yours, that’s like me being sober.”

Kristina & I are recapping our Australian adventure on today’s podcast ep #straightupwithstassi

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“You would get mad at me in the morning, like, ‘You didn’t finish this glass of champagne? I’ll drink it then.’ And I was like, ‘Okay, I’m just going to go brush my teeth now.’

“You make me sound like a full-blown alcoholic,” Stassi jokes. “But yeah. I just feel like every experience we had in Australia — Australians get us and I get them. Like the first day when you took me to Bondi Beach and we did the Coogee Trail. The Coogee Trail was probably my favorite part of the trip and it involved physical activity.”

No freaking caption good enough for this.

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“Yeah, if you guys have to do one thing in Sydney, I would say you have to go to Bondi beach and you have to walk the Coogee Trail,” Kristina says. “That alone is one of the most beautiful things.”

“I would be the most fit person ever if I lived there because I would do it every day,” Stassi says.

“I was like, ‘Okay, I have a surprise for you at the end of this trail,’ because Stassi didn’t do that much research,” Kristina explains. “I was like, ‘Let me do some of the stuff, I’ll plan a few things.’ She went with it. She was super down to walk.”

“Because it was so pretty. I loved it, I loved the whole thing,” Stassi says. “I just kept being like, ‘What the fuck kind of surprise is it?’

“You did lose an extension along the way,” Kristina says.

“I lost an extension, but you know, collateral damage,” Stassi says.

“Put that in your purse, saved it for a rainy day,” Kristina says. “Do you still have it?”

“Actually, on the last day when we were packing, I was like, ‘Do I keep it?’ I kept it the whole trip and I threw it away on the last day. It was just a little friend that would pop up places,” Stassi says. “But yeah. There was one solider down on that trail. RIP to that. But I kept being like, ‘What the fuck is your surprise? Nothing could be prettier than this trail.’ I was thinking some sort of Instagram-worthy location. An hour in, I was like, ‘If there isn’t a Chanel store or a fucking bar or winery at the end of this trail, I’m out.’

“You were like, ‘What if I don’t like it?’” Kristina recalls. “You just kept being like, ‘But what if I don’t?’

“Because it would have been so disappointing for you and for me and for you if I didn’t like it,” Stassi says. “But no, it was the best surprise ever. Ya’ll, it was a fucking ginormous cemetery.”

“I know you so well,” Kristina says.

“On the cliffs of Bondi Beach. I couldn’t believe my eyes,” Stassi recalls. “We came around a bend, and you looked at me, and I was like, ‘What? What is it?’ I shift my eyes over and I heard music. I heard angels singing in a choir. I couldn’t even believe what I was seeing. I was like, ‘This is better than a Chanel store and it’s better than a winery and it’s better than a fucking bar. It’s a cemetery in the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen on the side of a cliff overlooking the ocean.’ It’s hands down my favorite cemetery.”

LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODE HERE!!!

Australian Christmas

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