On this episode of Straight Up with Stassi, Stassi is joined by her NYFW wife and bestie of four years, Taylor Strecker.
A poem called ‘The People Upstairs.’
To kick things off, Taylor launches into a story about her girlfriend’s sister’s downstairs neighbors who constantly make noise complaints.
“[The neighbors] print out this stupid legal document, they highlight the sections that are provisions for them, then they have the balls to go upstairs, deliver it to her, the poor thing with her two kids at home dealing with life stuff. But on top of it, they print out a poem. A poem called ‘The People Upstairs.'”
Stassi proceeds to read from the poem:
The people upstairs all practice ballet
Their living room is a bowling alley
Their bedroom is full of conducted tours.
Their radio is louder than yours,
They celebrate week-ends all the week.
When they take a shower, your ceilings leak.
They try to get their parties to mix
By supplying their guests with Pogo sticks,
And when their fun at last abates,
They go to the bathroom on roller skates.
I might love the people upstairs more
If only they lived on another floor.
“This reminds me of the Free The Nipple cause,” Stassi says. “There are people that are starving, there are people dying, there are people being murdered for being gay, there are people that are suffering all over the world…”
“People that can’t get into this country and miss their families…” Taylor adds.
“That too,” Stassi says. “There are so many issues in the world and the way that I feel about this fucking poem and this fucking issue that these people have is the same way that I feel with the free the nipple campaign. Yeah, free the nipple, whatever, but if you’re going to have a fucking campaign, can you have a good one?”
“I was getting d-slapped by Mother Nature.”
“I feel like this is our Fashion Week Journal,” Taylor says. “Part one.”
“So, I had two fucking rad outfits planned for today,” Stassi begins. “I don’t even use that word, that’s how great these outfits were … And it’s the first day of fashion week and it’s snowing. Everything was shut down. It’s impossible to go out in my outfits. And I was supposed to do outfit changes! So I text Taylor and I’m like, ‘Yo, what’s going on?’ And she’s like ‘What do you mean?'”
“For reference, I got the schedule mixed up,” Taylor says. “So I thought it was at 6pm, and I had all these different things I was supposed to do today and they all got slowly cancelled because of the snow, and then I was coming home from work, dilly dallying. And Stassi’s like, ‘So, we’re going to go to this show, we’ll meet up, I don’t wanna be alone.'”
“I was sick of being alone, I’d done too many things alone,” Stassi says. “I love being alone, just not in public places where I know people are paying attention to me. That’s what I mean.”
“I get it. I understand. I can empathize,” Taylor says. “So I’m like, ‘I’m gonna go home, I’ll stop at the hotel, what’s your first show?’ And it’s at 12pm.”
“Just FYI, I sent her my schedule a week ago,” Stassi clarifies. “So she had my full-on schedule.”
“So I’m like, ‘Holy shit, its 10:30, I’m in Rockefeller Center, I have to get down to my apartment and then back up to Stassi, then go to the show, which I thought was at Madison Square Garden. The subways were not running,” Taylor says. “They were going literally backwards. So I show up to Stassi’s looking like a crazy homeless person.”
“That’s an understatement,” Stassi says. “So I had been in my outfit, but I put on my grey sweater dress that I’ve worn in LA five days in a row that smells like B.O. because it’s the only fucking thing that’s going to keep me warm. At least I have a cute jacket. My coat will be my outfit. But when I’ve been planning these outfits and put in so much effort… shoutout to Audrey Brianne who helps me with this shit. It’s a thing. Everything is organized, for each show I know exactly the theme of the show and what I’ll wear for it. But it is fucking snowing, its cold, and I can’t go out in princess shoes.”
“I was walking in these terrible booties,” Taylor says. “I was getting d-slapped by Mother Nature on the way to your hotel today.”
“Then Taylor comes in and I’m like, ‘You can go home,'” Stassi says.
“I warned you,” Taylor says. “I said, ‘I look so bad you don’t even want me to come with you.’ I got up at the ass-crack of dawn in a snowstorm, and I thought I had hours to get ready… But, I’m telling you, Stassi pulled me together in like three and a half minutes flat. And she took me from homeless and on her last leg to fabulous Cruella DeVille.'”
To hear how the rest of the day went, listen to the full episode! (It involves under-boob sweat and the purpose of putting the right people in the front row at fashion shows.)