On this episode of Straight Up With Stassi, Stassi and Beau play the Newlywed game! (No, they’re not engaged.)
“Okay, so this Newlywed game… we’re going to see how much we know about each other or remember about each other,” Stassi begins. “The first one: ‘When and where did we first kiss?’ I remember this. Do you?”
“It was in the back of an Uber,” Beau says.
“No it wasn’t,” Stassi disagrees.
“Yeah, after our third date I finally kissed you,” Beau says. “Like, kiss kiss?”
“You kissed me on the cheek in the back of an Uber,” Stassi corrects.
“But that’s a kiss,” Beau says.
“No, like, real kiss,” Stassi says. “Oh my God, you’re annoying. You don’t remember? Seriously? I will explain. So this fella over here didn’t kiss me after the first three dates. I was like, ‘What is this?’ It’s like that episode of Sex and the City with Carrie Bradshaw where he won’t ask her to come in and you find out he was an alcoholic and he wasn’t allowed to be sexual with women and she’s just like, ‘What? I’m literally throwing myself at you, what the fuck is happening?’ I was like, ‘What are we waiting for here? We gotta find out if we’re into each other like that.’ So I was complaining to Kristen and Katie and then Kristen texted him and was like, ‘You didn’t even kiss her!’ And he’s like, ‘No, I didn’t.’ That’s why I remember the first time so much, because I was like, ‘Oh, there you go.’ It was when you took my scooter, the one that I bedazzled on Vanderpump Rules, last season, and you were going to drive home, and I walked you out with my bedazzled scooter, and you finally made out with me. I was like, ‘Gah, about frickin’ time.’ You really don’t remember that?”
“I made out with you on your street corner?” Beau asks.
“Yeah. Ugh, lame, I can’t believe you don’t remember that,” Stassi says.
“Next question,” Beau says. “It must have been raining.”
“It wasn’t,” Stassi says. “Well, the next question was, ‘My partner’s first kiss made me think (blank).’ For Beau, nothing!” They both laugh. “For me, ‘Finally!'”
“Stassi 2, Beau 0,” Beau tallies.
“‘What would be your partner’s ideal date?'” Stassi continues. “I’ll tell you what I think your ideal date would be, and you can tell me what you think my ideal date would be.”
“I’ll start, since you did the last one,” Beau says. “Your ideal date would be you in pajamas watching a Housewife or a Kardashian while I order Taco Bell and bring you red wine that’s been in the refrigerator for four hours and we have both the dogs around us.”
“That was really close,” Stassi says. “But, no. My ideal date would be if we were in Paris and did that in the hotel room. Like, we’d already been out in Paris all day long, and just shopped and had dinner and all that, and then we came home early at like 8:00, or 9:00, and we turned on a reality show or ‘Game of Thrones’ and we had our dogs there. Then we could order Taco Bell in Paris and just cuddle and be alone, and I could be comfortable and I could take all my makeup off.”
“So I was what, 90% right?” Beau asks.
“Yeah, you were 90% right,” Stassi agrees, “But you missed a very big chunk of that.”
“Alright, so what’s mine?” Beau asks.
“It would be a whole day thing, where it started off with me bringing you a cocktail in bed to wake you up, and then you’d probably want to go maybe see a Marvel movie. We’d get wasted first, and after the Marvel movie, go meet up with all of your friends so that we can all hang out together and get wasted, and then end the night with karaoke-ing, and the whole time I’m on my best behavior and I don’t complain once. And then we stay out until 2:30 in the morning,” Stassi says.
“So the things you got wrong are the wasted three times — first of all, if you brought me a cocktail in the morning, that means we went out the night before and I’m hungover and it would be a beer because it’s refreshing,” Beau explains. “Second of all, Marvel movie… eh. I did take you to ‘Thor’ and you loved it, so don’t sit there and judge. I take you to the ones I know you would like. And all my friends? That’s like a birthday. My ideal date is you and me together. The only thing that you got right about that is, yes, a nice movie, and also the ending. But that would be like a Sunday where we’d go to Belmont and then do karaoke at the end of our date to be with my friends and your friends together. Technically, I’m going to give you 65% of a win on that.”