On this episode of Straight Up With Stassi, Kristina Kelly and Stassi talk embarrassing moments, high school superlatives, and therapy.
“Four cards, declined.”
“I had a really embarrassing moment this week,” Stassi says.
“You had an embarrassing moment?” Kristina asks sarcastically.
“No, like a really embarrassing one,” Stassi continues. “A really ratchet, embarrassing moment. So, because my book is coming out, I’m like, ‘You should treat yoself.’ I was like, ‘I’m going to buy myself diamonds.'”
“I’m nervous,” Kristina says.
“You should be,” Stassi warns. “So, I love jewelry. I like fine jewelry, but like I said, I don’t have central air conditioning and I live in an apartment, so it’s not like I’m Erica Jane. You don’t know who that is, you don’t watch ‘Housewives of Beverly Hills.’ So, it’s not like I’m JLo or Beyonce. But I’m like, you know what? I’m going to do this. I want to buy myself some nice jewelry, because that’s the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning — about what I’m going to wear. I look forward to putting on jewelry even more than clothes.”
“I forget that — I walk out the door and I’m like, ‘I forgot to put on earrings.’ Actually, I wanted to wear earrings today and I didn’t put them on,” Kristina remembers. “Like, ‘Uh, I didn’t wear that cute ring that I just got.’ It’s always the last thing that I think about.”
“Gross,” Stassi says. “How do you forget that? It’s so fun.”
“Because when you put your outfit together, I feel like you don’t put jewelry on first,” Kristina explains.
“I don’t put it on first, but I think about it first,” Stassi says.
“Do you remember your statement necklaces?” Kristina laughs.
“Shut up,” Stassi says. “Yeah, I know. Listen, I stand by that phase, and that phase will ultimately come back. Everything is cyclical. Fashion is cyclical. It will come back. And I made sure, on the cover of my book, to put statement necklaces on as an ode to my phase. A good statement necklace? It’s powerful. It’s basic and powerful. I’m going to lean into it. But, it’s kind of hard everyday. But now, I’m like, okay, let me collect some good pieces. So Merrick [Stassi’s nail artist] did my podcast last week, and before he did it, we were talking about jewelry because he loves jewelry, and he’s like, ‘Have you ever gone downtown for jewelry?’ And I’m like, ‘No, where the fuck would I go?’ And he’s like, ‘Oh my God. So you’ve been buying things from actual stores and online?’ And I’m like, ‘Yes, 100%, where else? I don’t know how to go and bargain, like, downtown? That’s far!'”
“Like, a diamond dealer?” Kristina asks.
“The jewelry district! So I learned this…” Stassi explains.
“So is that where some of these people get their stuff from?” Kristina asks.
“That’s where EVERYONE gets their stuff from. So he was like, ‘I’m gonna take you down there, I have certain people that I know, I’ll get you a really good deal.’ He’s taken so many of his high profile clients there. I’m not going to name names but like, legit high profile clients that should probably know this shit. Celebrity people. So like, a ring that is $60,000 at Cartier is $1,500 at this place. Same diamonds. Same settings. Same everything. It’s not fake, it’s not like a fake piece, it’s just the same type of thing with real diamonds and real gold.”
“It just doesn’t have the name?” Kristina asks.
“Yes,” Stassi says. “So I’m like, ‘I need to see this for myself.’ So I went to his people, and I picked a bunch of things. A lot of things. So many things. It would have been like $150,000 worth of jewelry, and I spent not even like 10 percent of that. It’s insane, the idea of someone being like, ‘I got this from Tiffany’s or Cartier.'”
“Also, who’s going to even know that?” Kristina adds.
“Do they even have that imprinted on it? Is it the experience of going there?” Stassi asks.
“Saying that it’s Cartier?” Kristina guesses.
“But when I went there,” Stassi continues, “they were like, ‘Oh, Allison Janney was here just two hours ago,’ and then I saw a bunch of housewives coming up and I’m like, ‘Oh my God, I’m in an alternate universe, what is happening, everyone knows about this shit and I just never knew about it?’ You don’t actually have to spend as much money on diamonds as you think you do? So I stack up my things and I’m ready to go and they give me the price, so I hand over my business credit card, and they’re like, ‘That didn’t go through.’ And I’m like, ‘Hmm, that’s embarrassing and weird.’ I hand over another one. It’s declined. Hand over another one. Declined. Four—”
“You’re kidding,” Kristina gasps.
“—four cards, declined,” Stassi says. “So I’m sitting there, red-faced, like, ‘What is life?’ I’ve watched ‘The Secret’ documentary, and The Secret tells you to envision what you want and you’ll get it, so like, I didn’t envision any cards getting declined. So like, why is this fucking happening right now?”